Exodus 20:14 - “You shall not commit adultery”

This is Simple
Welcome to our series on the Ten Commandments. Today we are examining the 7th commandment from Exodus 20:14, “You shall not commit adultery”. The way to distract a man and destroy the family and therefore society is through adultery. This is a chief sin among men and it riddles the Christian man with guilt. It clouds their spiritual vision, and makes them weak in their bones as they slowly lose all their godly convictions. Some sins can be difficult to discern. Pride can be shrewd, cowardice can be crafty, and gluttony even can be celebrated. This isn’t the case with the 7th commandment. No man has ever had an epiphany in the middle of committing adultery and said, “Oh, you’re not my wife!” In that way this command is simple and clear. Sexual activity with anyone other than your spouse is forbidden.

Value the Promise
I read an article recently about the actress Drew Berrymore who was asked if she felt like a failure after having three divorces. She said no, in fact she stated that she felt “liberated.” I’m wondering if you believe her? If you have been through a divorce you know how painful they are. It’s months and sometimes years of lawyers, paperwork, and pain. It’s a season of confused kids, and wondering how to parent with someone who is no longer committed to you. It’s a season of agony not liberation. It is indeed a failure but we have a God who lavishly pours out his love and forgiveness on us. If we simply turn away from our sin and ask for his help in the midst of our pain He won’t hold back His rivers of healing power. Don’t buy this “liberated” crap from our culture. Berrymore sounds free but she’s not, just watch her talk show. It’s painful. Unfortunately, she seems to not hold a high value of the promises she’s made to her husbands therefore blurring the lines of where the promise begins and ends.

Freedom in a Frame
In order to be free you must have borders. I’m very tempted here to talk about our southern border but I won’t. There is however evidence for this with children at a playground. If they have no border fence then they use a very small amount of land for their activities. If they have a border fence then they will use the entire space to the very edges of the fence. Or if you’re an artist you need edges for your drawing and a frame for your painting. Before the beauty can even be created the edges must be clear. Freedom needs a frame. Freedom only exists within a border and beauty is only created in boundaries. So it is with sex. Sex is given by God to express love and create children. This can only be done between a man and a woman. It’s something that is beautiful and the result is a miracle. This miracle creating is to be done in the border wall of marriage for many reasons. I'll give you three: the protection of women, the ideal situation for rearing children and the sexual regulation of men. When the sexual nature of men isn’t given borders they commit all sorts of debauchery. If you have read through your bible you will notice that every time someone is indulging in promiscuity or polygamy they are having a terrible time. Unfortunately our creativity doesn’t end there even in the bible. In Exodus 22:18-19, bestiality was an issue, so it was condemned and given the death penalty as a consequence. In Leviticus 18:22, we see that homosexuality is happening and was also condemned. You might have noticed lately that American laws have slowly been softening to some of these debased acts and the results are predictable. Men are getting more out of control, not less. What keeps their sin at bay is the boundary and when that gets weak or murky the freedom for everyone suffers. Women are left vulnerable with no protection and little provision and children lose out on the greatness of living under a roof where masculinity and femininity harmonize.
Additionally, this command assumes marriage and condemns acting improperly to anyone but your spouse but what if you aren’t married? Does it still apply? Yes, here’s why. Think for a moment that you’re sitting with your future spouse and you ask if it was okay for you to sleep around before you were married because you were lonely? If your spouse is honest they will say no because the idea of you sleeping with another person hurts them. It’s painful, it creates jealousy because God wrote this law on your heart. Sex outside of heterosexual marriage is adultery. Furthermore, our culture is getting married later and later and men are often getting to their thirties before they “settle down.” Leaving them without regulation in their immature teens and twenties. In many cases, not all, I think this is a mistake. Get married early and be financially poor with the person you love so you can be relationally rich. Be regulated by the marriage covenant and you will live in freedom because freedom exists in a frame. This law is for both men and women to obey but the Ten Commandments are written to patriarchs. Exodus 20:17 tells men to not covet their neighbor's wife. That of course applies to women as well yet it’s written to men because if the patriarch falls everyone is devastated. If the woman falls its impact is painful but not ruinous. Men, get your passions under the law and you will create a wonderful legacy and live in freedom not chained like an animal to your desires. Women, your standard for a man must be high in today's culture. Pornography is not acceptable. If you’re dating, one of the first questions that women should ask is: when is the last time you watched porn? If it’s recent then he is too weak to lead you and he won’t stop just because you get married. You won’t live with him in freedom because he won’t know where to build up the border walls of protection. His spiritual eyes will be dulled and his courage will be stricken. Adherence to this commandment is central to the health of a marriage, a family, and a society.  You shall not commit adultery.